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OT
Dr. Cox is dead

Yeah, he is.

#1 User is offline   Prototape 

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Posted 26 September 2011 - 10:29 AM

It's been brought to my attention that our very own Dr. Cox has been killed today.

Dr. Cox was in love with wildlife. He would frequently go on hikes exploring the wilderness and fell in love with the animals that ran around freely. The prospect that there are creatures on this earth who don't abide by the rules of society set him free in a sense. It was the only place he ever felt truly happy. It wasn't before long that he started approaching the animals and started to pet them.

He recently messaged me, very excited about a hike he was going to take. He was going alone this time, but I implored him to let people know where he was just in case he got hurt. I plead that he didn't bother the wildlife, to which he responded "Chris, a man's got to do what a man's got to do", and then resumed to give me shit for some of the weird thing's I've done... Relentlessly. I merely agreed to get him to stop. Apparently he was leaving earlier today and wouldn't be back for a while as he wanted to watch the sun set. He then said goodbye, and I told him to have a good time and once again, leave the animals alone. He responded with a simple "fuck you" and signed off. Little did I know these would be the last words I'd hear from him.

The rest of this is pure speculation on my part, as the true events have yet to be found out. But I'm doing my best given the evidence that was found from the police:

He was about 5 miles into the wilderness and found with various bite marks all over. Most of them hitting major arteries.
Given this, the story pretty much pans out for itself:

Cox was walking through, enjoying the fresh air when he ran across an animal in which he approached. I would guess he started to pet it and the animal became agitated. Cox probably ignored it and said "Fuck you I'm petting you". This probably agitated the animal even more and it launched at him, and started attacking defending itself. The animal was only defending itself of course, it didn't know any better. It didn't know that Cox just likes to pet the wildlife and didn't have any intention of eating the animal. But, being an animal and not a human, it couldn't possibly know this. The animal went after the vital arteries as I said previously, and it then left Cox alone.

Cox collapsed onto the ground, helpless and bleeding out. He was loosing blood fast, but there was no way of escape, he was too weak. Cox then died approximately 5 minutes afterwards. It wasn't for a while until a couple ran across him and contacted the police, which executed an investigation, which was resolved pretty quickly. They sent the bite marks to an animal expert who later determined the animal was....


A Badger.


Let's all take a moment of silence to remember our lost friend. Goodbye Dr. Cox, you gave us all some good laughs.

This post has been edited by Prototape: 26 September 2011 - 10:32 AM


#2 User is offline   kornman00 

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Posted 26 September 2011 - 10:57 AM

http://www.badgerbadgerbadger.com/

#3 User is offline   Prototape 

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Posted 26 September 2011 - 10:58 AM

:3

#4 User is offline   Cobby 

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Posted 26 September 2011 - 04:32 PM

Hey, be more original.
Only funny the first time. :eyesroll:

#5 User is offline   Prototape 

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Posted 26 September 2011 - 05:02 PM

It was an alternate version of the story of him being banned. You Cobby.

This post has been edited by Prototape: 26 September 2011 - 05:06 PM


#6 User is offline   kornman00 

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Posted 26 September 2011 - 09:45 PM

But he isn't banned. You unoriginal prototape.

#7 User is offline   Tural 

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Posted 26 September 2011 - 10:45 PM

50 dicks in his ass like the tail of a peacock.

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Posted 27 September 2011 - 12:23 AM

View Postkornman00, on 26 September 2011 - 09:45 PM, said:

But he isn't banned. You unoriginal prototape.


Then what is he? You badger.

View PostTural, on 26 September 2011 - 10:45 PM, said:

50 dicks in his ass like the tail of a peacock.


I'm moving away from my computer... slowly..

This post has been edited by Prototape: 27 September 2011 - 12:25 AM


#9 User is offline   Tural 

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Posted 27 September 2011 - 12:56 AM



#10 User is offline   Prototape 

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Posted 27 September 2011 - 01:42 AM

Oh lawl.

#11 User is offline   kornman00 

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Posted 27 September 2011 - 01:59 AM

View PostPrototape, on 27 September 2011 - 12:23 AM, said:

Then what is he? You badger.

A child? IDK, you'll have to ask him what he is.

#12 User is offline   Prototape 

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Posted 27 September 2011 - 02:44 AM

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH HIM YOU BASTARD

#13 User is offline   Cuda 

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Posted 28 September 2011 - 03:31 AM

Good riddance.

#14 User is offline   Cobby 

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Posted 28 September 2011 - 11:09 PM

Are you sure he wasn't killed by cattle-spiders?


#15 User is offline   Prototape 

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Posted 29 September 2011 - 08:38 AM

I can't look away..

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